In order to help children feel accepted, our relationships with them need to:
• celebrate difference – in culture, personality, ability, and talents
• celebrate success – but also supports the child through disappointments and setbacks
So when your child has a success, no matter how big or small, make sure to notice it and congratulate them on it! It could be something is simple as playing nicely with a friend, getting a good grade, or expressing themselves verbally at a time when they got upset or frustrated.
We also need to teach children how to handle disappointments and setbacks. Explain that it’s normal to have setbacks and the important thing is how we handle them and how they affect us. Do we get up and keep going or do we let our dissappoinments define us?
Cassidy’s Example:
For example, Cassidy shares how she supported the child she worked with to accept his setbacks:
He couldn’t do anything independently when I arrived and I realised it was because he was afraid of failure. I wanted to be there to help him and to encourage him to trust me not to judge him for making mistakes. I was always trying to teach him indirectly about having a growth mindset by saying things like “I care about you trying/making an effort, not about passing or failing a test. You could fail and I’ll even give you a sticker IF I see that you really tried!”