Being there for the child
The most essential thing a child needs to feel in order for a supportive adult to build a secure relationship with them is that the person is available for them. This involves being there for them when they need help, supporting them when they’re struggling, and teaching them that they can ask for help in the first place. Ultimately, we want the child to feel that there is an adult they can turn to when they need help or feel anxious.
Additionally, it is essential to practice active listening skills when in conversation with a child. We can’t be on our phones or distracted if a child is asking us a question or telling us about their day. Show the child that you are focused, interested, and listening intently to what they have to share.
Cassidy’s Example
Cassidy, one of our Case Managers, shared a relevant example of a time when she was working as an Integration Teacher:
“Outside of academics, I made him feel like he could come tell me about conflicts with his peers. He would come to me and we would discuss what happened in a non-judgemental way. Even if he was the one who was in the wrong, I was there to support him without judging him for his mistakes, and I hope he felt that.”
Another example:
“I have a boy in my class at the moment and he can be very disruptive. But I’ve found that if I stand near his desk when I’m talking to the class and just give him that little bit of physical closeness, he’s often much more calm and attentive.”
When children feel that they are heard and understood, it allows them to build trust with the supportive adult. It is important for the adult to actively listen to the child, validate their feelings, and help them navigate through difficult situations. This not only helps the child feel secure, but also helps develop their emotional intelligence and problem-solving skills. By being available and responsive to the child’s needs, we can create a safe and nurturing environment for them to thrive in. It is through this secure relationship that children can develop into confident, resilient and compassionate individuals.